Friendly Competition?

Sometimes I hate being a girl. Not in the way that you're all probably thinking right now. No. That sucks too, but that's not unbearable. What is unbearable is the fact that girls can't just be friends with each  other. It's  impossible. Ask any girl out there and they'll say the same thing. We can't just be friends with other girls because no matter what, there will always be something about that one other girl that you just crave. Whether it's their gorgeous locks, their looks, or their eyes, smile, etc.

I had a rough time the other night with this. I mean my best friend (and roommate) and I hardly ever have the issue of being interested in the same guys. I don't think we've had this problem since Sean. Anyway, there's a few guys these days that she and I are both mutually interested in. At first, I wasn't interested in one of them because I knew he was interested in one of my roommates and I thought they would be cute together so I just stayed out of it. Then she told me she wasn't interested in him and that's when Katy stepped in. She had always thought he was cute, and I knew she was interested, so again, I stayed away. I mean, I can be courteous about things like this when it doesn't concern me, but the instance I start to become interested, that's when things go south.

Katy informed me the other night that I have this awful tendency to say negative things about the girls I'm competing with. Yes, I use the word competing purposefully. It's a competition, and that's why girls can't just be friends. We're constantly in competition with one another because of guys. Another reason why men ruin the lives of women.

Worst part of this whole thing?

I want to win. He's this fabulous guy, super spiritual, funny, and really good looking. I was having a bad day yesterday and had sent him a text earlier that day and when he responded things were finally catching up to me. That was when he offered to come give me a hug. He and I just sat and he listened to me cry out my problems. He made me feel better about what was happening, and helped me laugh. I love it when a guy can do that. When he stood to leave he gave me another hug, and there was a moment when as he was pulling away it was almost as if he were pausing to do something. I didn't know if he was just letting me go, and I'm over thinking the whole thing (which is probably the case) or he was actually going to do something and I messed it up somehow.

Who knows. Hopefully things go well, and hopefully I can get over this competition thing. I doubt it but I'll try. I just don't want to put him in the position where he has to choose, or make Katy or I feel bad  because he did (might) choose one of us over the other.

Wish us luck.