Humans

I've decided that I need to start watching people in a non-creepy way. I think it will be helpful as I start to develop characters, but it's also going to be a source of entertainment for me. I mean honestly, I've only been sitting in my class for twenty minutes and I kid you not, the guy in the row in front of me has been eying the girl next to him like she's a piece of meat.

If you want to talk to her, talk to her for heaven's sake! Don't just sit there and stare like a creep. It's been highly entertaining to watch. It's not just a quick glance every now and then either. It's full on stares for minutes at a time. I think the only reason she hasn't noticed yet is because she's shopping online. I almost want to tell her, but that would ruin my fun. Oh well.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say at this time. Next time I observe something funny in human nature, I'll document it.


Cheers!

Friendly Competition?

Sometimes I hate being a girl. Not in the way that you're all probably thinking right now. No. That sucks too, but that's not unbearable. What is unbearable is the fact that girls can't just be friends with each  other. It's  impossible. Ask any girl out there and they'll say the same thing. We can't just be friends with other girls because no matter what, there will always be something about that one other girl that you just crave. Whether it's their gorgeous locks, their looks, or their eyes, smile, etc.

I had a rough time the other night with this. I mean my best friend (and roommate) and I hardly ever have the issue of being interested in the same guys. I don't think we've had this problem since Sean. Anyway, there's a few guys these days that she and I are both mutually interested in. At first, I wasn't interested in one of them because I knew he was interested in one of my roommates and I thought they would be cute together so I just stayed out of it. Then she told me she wasn't interested in him and that's when Katy stepped in. She had always thought he was cute, and I knew she was interested, so again, I stayed away. I mean, I can be courteous about things like this when it doesn't concern me, but the instance I start to become interested, that's when things go south.

Katy informed me the other night that I have this awful tendency to say negative things about the girls I'm competing with. Yes, I use the word competing purposefully. It's a competition, and that's why girls can't just be friends. We're constantly in competition with one another because of guys. Another reason why men ruin the lives of women.

Worst part of this whole thing?

I want to win. He's this fabulous guy, super spiritual, funny, and really good looking. I was having a bad day yesterday and had sent him a text earlier that day and when he responded things were finally catching up to me. That was when he offered to come give me a hug. He and I just sat and he listened to me cry out my problems. He made me feel better about what was happening, and helped me laugh. I love it when a guy can do that. When he stood to leave he gave me another hug, and there was a moment when as he was pulling away it was almost as if he were pausing to do something. I didn't know if he was just letting me go, and I'm over thinking the whole thing (which is probably the case) or he was actually going to do something and I messed it up somehow.

Who knows. Hopefully things go well, and hopefully I can get over this competition thing. I doubt it but I'll try. I just don't want to put him in the position where he has to choose, or make Katy or I feel bad  because he did (might) choose one of us over the other.

Wish us luck.

I know

So, I know no one reads this, which is fine. I just wanted to share how incredible the power of prayer is. I had been feeling rather down and lonely yesterday despite the company I had and the people I was around. So, yesterday when I went to bed, I knelt to pray and just kinda started to pour my heart out. The tears were free flowing down my face and I had no control over them. But, I felt at peace. For the first time in a long time I felt the Spirit. I can't even begin to express just how much I missed that feeling of the constant companionship of the Spirit. It's amazing the difference it makes in our lives to have had it and lost it, and the craving I have for it once more.

I don't think I've ever prayed as long or as hard, or as informally as I did. I think the best part of it was it felt like a conversation to me, and that's what it should be. A long distance phone call to my Heavenly Father who loves me, and just wants to hear what I have going on in my life. I know He knows, but He still wants to hear about it. Because if we don't ask, he can't help. I can't wait to get back  to a place that I want to be, and the person I know I can be.

Oh Averice. How you pain me.

I have a problem. I was feeling rather lonely the other night, so you want to know what I did to make myself feel better?

Went online shopping for things I knew I could never have. At least not currently.

First it was the puppies on KSL. Yes, I spent two hours looking at adorable puppies on KSL and wishing I could buy one. Well, wishing I had the money to buy one, and then buying one. There were so many adorable little pups on there! I absolutely died with I came across a Maltese/ Rat Terrier mix. SHE WAS SO CUTE. I think I screamed at the screen for a good minute or two. Katy was concerned for me. I mean, I was looking at puppies and gushing over how absolutely adorable they were for two hours. It also strengthened my resolve to have a puppy first when I get married. I want that to be our first child because if we can't take care of a dog, we can't take care of a baby. Plus I just want a dog. I miss my puppy (who definitely isn't a puppy anymore.) when she isn't around-- which is all the time. Dogs just make me happy. Just about as happy as the next item I went shopping for.

Cars.

Not just any cars.

Muscle cars.

But, they weren't just any old classic either. I have two classics that I would absolutely die to own either of them. The first has been my longtime dream and that is a 1973 Dodge Charger Rallye Edition. I found the perfect one, it's black with the white leather interior I want, manual trans and factory air and heating. She was gorgeous!! She was only going to cost me $18,900 too. I found a `73 Charger that wasn't the Rallye edition for a more manageable price at $12,000 though. She wasn't as pretty, needed some body work to get her where I want her. A new paint job is a must. I'm sorry but I refuse to drive a white car. If I'm going to have my classic, she's going to be sleek and black.

The next car is a 1967 Chevrolet Impala and oh boy is she beautiful. Now, I know that anyone who looks up this car is going to be all, well Alex you only want this car because Dean from Supernatural drives it. Correct in one aspect, but completely wrong in another. I just want a classic muscle car, and so far, those (besides the SS Camaro from `66) are the only ones that I reaaaaaaaally want. Anyway, this beauty was in pristine condition and had most of the original parts. She's in a dealership, which means she's been taken care of. That's a plus! She was yellow, and an ugly yellow at that. Definitely repainting that one.

And then I spent all afternoon after getting home from church shopping for cars.

I don't have a problem.

I can stop any time I want.

Dancing, Pixie Dust and Neverland

Well, since I said I was going to try and keep up on this blog, I figured that since it's the new year and what not I should probably make good on that commitment. It does help that I got a new computer for Christmas, so the access to the internet is a lot more available. It's fantastic. Once again, I cried like a baby when I opened it. I literally didn't even get it out of the bubble wrap. Zenna was all over hers but I seriously couldn't move. It's something that I didn't think I  was going to get.

Christmas was good this year. Really good. I didn't go into Christmas expecting to get very much, especially since my relationship with my parents is so rocky right now; I was pleasantly surprised when I received not only a computer, but a printer as well. That's expensive! Mind you, I didn't get all that much for Christmas, but what I got, I absolutely love, and for the most part, desperately needed. Thanks, I don't think you guys will read this (in reference to my parents) but I just want to let you know again how grateful I am.

New Year's Eve was fantastic. I think it's the most fun I have ever had on that "holiday" this year. Dear Katy and I went to a YSA dance over in PG and met up with our friend from our building. He invited me to keep all the girls at bay, but we didn't do a very good job. Not that I was really trying either, but still. He kept them away by himself for the most part. Now, normally I don't enjoy myself at dances of that nature, but this one was so much fun! Katy and I ran into my best friend Kaylee (whom I hadn't seen for months). She cut her hair and it looks so cute! I remember when she used to have the longest hair I thought I would ever see. Then of course I met Katy, and all that changed. I envy the girls that have long hair. I want it. Bad. Anyway, Katy, Kaylee and I had soooooo much fun. We danced all night long, and then when the dance was over there were fireworks. It was so pretty! When Katy and I  got back to the apartment, Katy pulls into this parking space  and turns the music up really loud and just gets out of the car and starts dancing. So, Katy and I had our own dance party to Lady Gaga in the parking lot at the apartments. This guy pulled up in his truck and just sat in his car and watched us. I feel like he was waiting for us to stop dancing, but when we didn't (after probably a good minute or three) he just got out of his car and grumped his way to his building. The snow was falling in what I described as a flurry of pixie dust. It was so beautiful. I tried  to get a picture of it, but unfortunately my phone sucks like that.

If that's any way to start the New Year, I'm glad I did it with one of my best friends. I am excited to start a new year with a new me. New me starts tomorrow (physically anyway) when I dye my hair. I'm so excited. I have wanted to do this for a long time.

Well, cheers to anyone who actually reads this.